who am I?

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Who am I?

I bet you’ve asked yourself this question. I certainly have.

And it’s funny, because you don’t just ask that question once in your life. For me the question comes up every once in a while, and I sigh deeply, and ask myself, “Haven’t we answered this question before? Why are you asking this again?”

My self answers, unhelpfully, with repeating the same question again.

Who am I?

If you’re like me, you think of all your “titles” first: Daughter, sister, wife, mother. Then add career titles. Women’s ministries director. Worship leader. Volunteer. Things I like to do: Jewelry designer. Interior decorator. Creative person. Values I hold dear: Jesus-lover. Jesus-follower.

But none of these actually answer the question. These are things I do and values I hold dear but they are not WHO I AM.

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I’m about to lose one of my “titles”. I’ll be stepping down from women’s ministry at the end of May. Not because I have another job to go to – I don’t – or because I know what’s next – I don’t. But simply because I’ve been praying about this for months and God is clearly closing the door on this chapter of my life and ministry.

Although I had always loved ministry of various kinds, women’s ministry had never been something I pursued or dreamed of being involved in. When I first suddenly found myself on staff at my church as a director of women’s ministry, it felt strange to have a new answer when people asked what I did for a living. Instead of being a stay-at-home mom and occasional entrepreneur, I now had a title that was doing something I never thought I’d do. And yet, it didn’t take long before there was a note of pride in my voice when someone at the bank or a car dealership would ask my occupation and I answered.

Fast-forward to three years later and I’m having to admit that title means so much more to me now than it did then. It represents all the ministries I’ve worked to hard to begin, change, and lead. It represents all the women I’ve been able to pray with, lead in worship, and walk alongside towards Christ. It represents hard-fought spiritual battles and important conversations with church leadership. It represents events that started as dreams and were seen through to reality. It represents three years of blood, sweat, tears, and prayer as I was ALL in. It represents a whole lot of growth for me, a lot of learning, a lot of humbling, a lot of wonder at the greatness of God.

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So as I move toward losing one of my “titles”, I’m finding myself asking that pesky question again.

Who am I?

I feel compelled to strip away ALL the man-made titles to get down to the truth.

I am LOVED.

I am WANTED.

I am VALUABLE.

I am a DAUGHTER of the King of kings.

I am UNIQUE.

I am FORGIVEN.

I am IMPORTANT to the Highest Authority in the universe.

 

And you know what? So are you. It’s really all that matters.

Published by Courtney

I'm on a journey towards hope and healing and glory and I mess up a lot. I laugh a lot. I cry a lot. I'm passionate about many things...bringing glory to my Lord Jesus, loving on my husband and three children, helping people find both hope and healing, creating beauty in the world around me, and working towards healing for my son with severe developmental delays. Join me as I document the joys and the pains, and attempt to process the difficult and the divine.

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